Making It Work: Tips for Couples Moving in Together
Ain’t life grand? You’re in love, and you and your significant other have decided to combine your meager fortunes and kick your relationship up a notch: You’re moving in with one another! Once considered taboo, cohabitating before marriage is now considered a logical step in many romantic relationships. It allows you both to gain a better understanding of each other’s habits and quirks before taking that major leap. It also reveals some of your less desirable traits and provides some insight into each other’s neuroses.
When you and your partner have made your decision and come to the conclusion that two heads are better than one, it’s important to be honest and forthright with one another from the beginning. If not, certain behaviors or habits that might otherwise appear harmless could quickly manifest themselves into major problems for the relationship. Plus, I mean, we all burp and blow our noses, so there’s also that. Better just get used to it now.
Yup, it’s a brave new world readers – one that should be assessed thoroughly. If you and your honey bunny are considering becoming roommates or if you have already moved in together, here are a few tips to keep things steady sailing!
Fools Rush In
Sure, you might think that you’ve found your one and only, but if you don’t consider all the variables, that person might become your none and lonely. Make sure that you’ve taken time to really consider your feelings for this person and whether you can see a happy future together. What are your views on religion? Politics? The Dallas Cowboys? Do you prefer a tidy home or are you content to let the dishes go for a day or two? What about animals? Are you cool with just a goldfish or would you rather have a household full of four-legged fur babies? Things you might not have previously considered might turn out to be the most important questions of all.
Often times we fail to realize serious deal breakers until it’s too late, and far too many relationships that once had serious potential have been doomed by rushing into roommate status. If you truly see your partner as a lifelong companion, make sure that you’re on the same level on topics that you consider important. You likely don’t agree on everything, but as long as you both lay it all out on the line and can respect and admire each other’s perspective, you should be just fine.
Take It Seriously
Many couples that move in together fail to recognize what an important step this is in a relationship. These people figure that since they haven’t exchanged any vows, they don’t have any obligation to their partners. While no two partnerships are the same, it’s highly unlikely that choosing to live with another person that you are romantically involved with doesn’t signify an escalation of the relationship.
In most instances, moving in with your partner means that you will begin to empathize with their feelings and circumstances, both professionally and personally. If your significant other is having a hard time communicating with someone at work, you need to be there for them by listening and offering helpful advice to the best of your ability. Ideally, this isn’t a temporary situation, so your viability as a partner will be tested by the amount of interest you take in your partner’s life. And if you’re struggling to do so or if your partner is failing to meet your emotional needs, you need to be honest and work toward a resolution of those issues. One way of thinking about your partner is that they are your teammate and together there’s nothing that you cannot accomplish, but you have to be there for one another.
Respect Each Other’s Space
When couples first begin dating, the cuddles and the smooches are a regular thing – excessive even. And why not? You’re in love and touch is a huge component of your feelings for one another. However, it’s also important to recognize that the constant urge for physical contact will naturally decrease over time. This doesn’t mean that you don’t love your partner or that they don’t love you; it’s just that most people require a certain amount of space, especially when they’re sharing a home or apartment with one another. The key here is not to be offended or confused if you’re not snuggled up on the couch every single night. It’s not personal; they’re just not in the mood for a snuggle sesh – it happens.
Of course, the flipside of this is a scenario in which your partner becomes less of a lover and more of a roommate. The fact that you live together shouldn’t diminish the need or want for a physical relationship. This doesn’t just include sex – it includes hand holding, kissing, hugging, and talking. These things might not occur as often as they did before you lived together, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t occur at all. As always, if you’re feeling a lack of intimacy or if your physical needs aren’t being met, you must broach the topic with your partner. Brooding, blaming, and belittling will get you nowhere; you have to communicate with your lover if you want the relationship to work.
None of this is meant to scare you out of moving in with your significant other. In fact, the tips above should encourage you if the situation is right! After all, when you love someone, you should want to remain patient with them. You should want to be able to communicate with them. You should want to be comfortable with them and respect their space. Becoming roommates isn’t a death sentence for your relationship; it’s a life spring for you to express yourself and share your life with the one you love the most.